Before the beginning. The End.

Water. It's been a current, a force in my life, since -- forever. For a time I lived beside water, its presence shaping every move, mood, activity, and contemplation. That time and place are gone forever, but the lessons learned there -- and lost for a brief time -- are screaming for recovery.

In two days -- less than that, really -- a new year begins. The past year overflowed with hope, satisfaction, disappointment, ambition and dreams. A rather chaotic mix, some of which was beyond my control (Kharma -- good bad or indifferent) happens. Thus as the year ends I look back, pick up its assorted pieces, turn a critical eye to each shard and make a choice: tuck it away with sentimentality, discard it with yesterday's trash, or nurture it forward into its next manifestation.

It has been a monumental year in another way as well: I turned 60 this year. Turning 30, 40, even 50 were non-issues; I never bought into the "over the hill" mania. In truth, each decade brought its own beauty, colored by experience. Age simply didn't bother me. It still doesn't "bother" me. Sixty has, however, triggered much reflection and may be the impetus for change.

Change. Resetting priorities. The reason I came here will be fulfilled this year. And in the wake of an injury that was beyond my control, I have had ample time for contemplation.

Retirement tempts, as does relocation. The coming year will be one of thought, re-evaluation and possibly redirection. Every winter for at least three decades now I have revisited my personal 1-2-5 year goals and objectives, knowing that events and experience will shape-shift them. Nothing is carved in stone. Sometimes the shift is dramatic, sometimes subtle.

Missing my roots has been a powerful influence this year,more so than ever before, given the emerging issues and concerns facing friends and family up north. Even though I have planted a few new roots here, my life here is nowhere near what I left behind. Not even close. I can never begrudge my time here, but I can feel it reaching its inevitable end.

I cherish my family here, but are all entering various stages of growth and change. I've made wonderful friends here over the past six years, though most of them have already moved on. One of my first friends here in the South once said, "This is where you do your time before moving on to somewhere else." I guess that depends on where you are from, what you want in life, and what resources are the ones that nurture mind, body and spirit. I have, for a while, lost sight of that which has until recently sustained me.

Thus, as the new year dawns, I will be examining reasons to stay, and exploring resources to return to a place and a lifestyle that has always fulfilled me. Ever more strongly, I feel the first few years of this next decade will start with change.

I think again of water, of the waves washing ashore, shifting the shape of the shore one small, small piece at a time. Waves whispering to me.

I am listening.